Comptine d'un autre ete
by stonykitten
Summary: short piece about Tsuna's past in 'do you know what a kiss means' before Reborn showed up. How did Tsuna turn from a happy child to the broken down china doll he is now. T for adult themes and just to be safe? slight TsunaxOC


**A/N:** ok here we go Tsuna's past in the 'Do You Know What a Kiss Means?' and I am working on a sequel. Not like anybody's going to read it anyway Q-q. Told from Tsuna's p.o.v. and hence fails I think I made Tsuna too smart, oh well

**Warnings**: adult themes and slight paedophilia (can't find a better word X-x… I just know that will lessen the reader number)

**Pairing**: slight TsunaxOC

**Disclaimer**: I ran out of half-witty disclaimers, so I'll just do this *holds up a giant poster that says in three different languages* I do not own KHR!

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Last night I had a dream. I was home, running through the tall green grass, laughing with the wind. Mom was there too. She picked daises and made crowns from them. The sun shone brightly in the blue sky. My father picked me up and spun me around as our dog barked happily running around the two of us. I had a dream of my childhood and of the beautiful meadows. I had a dream only to wake up to a nightmare…

"Tsu-kun, hide!" my mother burst into the room her eyes filled with horror. Guns and muffled screams could be heard from downstairs. The big black monster of darkness curled and twisted behind her roaring in its delight. Lecherous hands of the shadows shot out embracing her shaking body, tugging at her soul, inviting her for a last waltz. She didn't budge, she just pleaded to let her live long enough to protect her child, to protect me. Her frame shook, her voice gone from her body – such a beautiful shell.

I was five then and all I understood was that I was woken up. I started to cry not seeing or hearing what I was supposed to know, what I was supposed to feel. Her mouth opened once more as she ran to me only to stop and loom over my tiny self. Her throat gave a gargled scream as she coughed blood, more of the sticky liquid spilling over my untainted body as her chest bleed where a bullet had hit her. A man emerged from the dark, the shadows whipping and drooling at his feet – like loyal dogs. I can't remember him; I can't remember what he said. All I could see in my mind was my mother's face. I screamed as loud as I could and ran. I gave way to my instincts of fear, instincts to run away from the figure cloaked in black. I am such a coward. I could of staid and faced the guillotine of death, and then I would be in heaven with them, forever… a happy family… I would be safe from this hell.

I don't blame or recent Aoi. I am happy she took me in – a battered, blood covered child trembling in the embrace of a raven haired teen. Without a question she gave me a roof over my head and food. She invited me to join her 'family'. Never, even with all the damage the 'no-good', clumsy I caused, she never once turned her back on me or treated me coldly. Her face always held a smile, the type that said: 'I know, don't worry'. I believed it, I still do. I never spoke of what happened. Those around me would just nod their heads and treat me as the pleased. A servant, more than anything else. Yuki would go on a rampage whenever he found out I was 'bullied'. I got used to it and even though I complained and threw tantrums I did what they asked because I knew that I was something ugly and below them, I was aware of the foul stench my dark secret gave. I never forgot the blood on my body, or the face of my mother. Years after the incident I would jolt up in my bed screams echoing through the walls, strong arms grabbing on to me, a gentle voice scaring away the monsters. I would have gone insane long ago if Yuki wasn't there to catch me when I tripped. Yuki…

That night I ran as fast as my short legs could take me. I don't know how I managed to outrun them, but soon there was no one but me in an alley with the moon smiling apologetically. My legs burned, my chest was in pain. Then I was still too small to understand what happened. I didn't even comprehend that my mother was dead, so was father. They even killed our dog. I ran because of the choking fear that snuck up on me. It was still there, creeping don my throat, taking away my breath. 'Oh god, are you alright?' That voice… even now it hasn't lost its effect. The hidden strength laced with cheery carefree attitude, compacted in a tall lean body. A ghostly hand reached for me. 'Are you an angel?' I remember asking, 'Hell no' said the older boy picking me up and running through the streets.

He brought me here, to my destiny. Unknown to him Yuki pulled me out of the streets, possible starvation and misery. For all the suffering I endure here, I experience same joy. It was my own decision to begin selling my body after all…

Aoi told me and some other young ones to stay away when guests came, you aren't ready yet she would say and glare us into submission. Not one of us was innocent enough to pretend we didn't understand what home was – a whorehouse. One day, I broke that warning. I just had to be my useless self and stumble out right in front of a client. Risa was hung on his arm, leading him to her room. I hoped they would ignore me and continue. The man might complain about children, they however knew not to question Aoi. At the time I was 10.

The man bent down and offered me his hand. All I managed was to stare at those pools of gold. His slanted wolf like eyes didn't waver as his mouth moved to a ferocious grin. 'Bring Aoi' said the man. His voice was deep and hid something behind it. Something of utmost evil. 'But, Kurokami-san' Risa complained batting her eyelashes. She was a beautiful woman, popular with the costumers, loosing out only to Yuki. The man glared at her, making the brunette scramble for Aoi's office.

His golden eyes sucked me in, freezing my insides. He let out a deep raspy chuckle. His presence made me unable to breath; the same fear of five years ago took hold of me. 'He knows' my mind screamed 'He knows your secret'. He loomed over me as death itself would. Seconds later I was in his arms carried to a room.

Kurokami Haruto(1)was a tall well built man. His broad shoulders and strong frame perfectly filled out the black suit he wore. His slightly tan skin embraced his long black hair and almost wolfish features. I felt like a rabbit that was about to be eaten. 'Shouldn't you entertain the guest?' his voice was amused and mocking. The sneer in it sparked something inside of me 'I'm not a whore' I said turning away from him. 'Not yet' he chuckled. Now I understand what he meant, but back then I was still a naïve child. Aoi burst in before anything else could be said. She ordered me to my room. The two argued for the rest of the night. He was important – Yuki explained the next morning. Even Aoi feared him. 'She won't let him lay a hand on you, no matter the cost'. I didn't want Aoi to suffer because of my failures. She didn't deserve it.

How foolish….

Few nights later I found myself clad in a kimono, sitting in front of the man who will change that which I was. 'Do you know what you are doing boy?' he asked, his golden eyes boring into my face. I refused to replay to him, refused to look at him and instead poured us some sake. The smugness and amusement in his voice made me even more frustrated. My hands shook, overturning the sake cups. He chuckled and beckoned me over. Strong arms grabbed at my body, the musky scent of tobacco, green tea and blood lulled me to a sense of false security. It hurt. My first time in a man's embrace was nothing but pain. He didn't leave when it was over. Up until this day he was the only one who staid until I fell asleep. The sweet nothings he whispered in my ears made the pain inside my chest go away. It was enough to let me finally breathe.

For the next four months he came at least twice a week. Under Aoi's order he was the only one I served, but the old lady would whisper that I was already ruined and that it was such a shame. Yuki would look at me with sorrowful eyes. Just for a moment and then his usual cheerfulness would return. He was a master of putting on the mask to hide himself from his own self. He taught me how to wear a mask of my own…

Kurokami-san was said to be a cruel man. His eyes spoke of death, his body wrapped in decay and his voce was laced with poison. He would come in and give me a smile, giving of just the slightest tinge of the shinigami stench. Other inhabitants talked about his violence in bed, they spoke about him being responsible for many crimes. I never saw his cruelty during those months. He would come with treats and gifts, during most nights we wouldn't even sleep together – simply talk or he would pull me into an embrace and rest.

I fell in love…

It was my first crush. My first and only for a long time. I was so happy when he was there with me and when he wasn't I would daydream of what we would do when he came by. He promised to take me out; he agreed to bring me to a sweets shop, to buy me whatever I wanted as his arms held my close to his beating heart. And then he was gone… Something happened and he had to 'disappear' it was only natural. My heart shattered into million tiny peaces falling on the floor, spilling in every direction. Some of the fragments fell through the cracks, forever to be lost in the shadowy darkness. When other costumers began to come I didn't care – without him there was nothing that mattered, nothing at all.

The pain lingered for a long time, until my heart ran out of blood to bleed. Yuki said it was only natural, it will heal with time. I believed him – the raven knew it better that any one else. From then on my life tugged in a chaotic order. It was an order nevertheless. A vicious circle that kept me alive and salvaged the peaces of 'me', until he came and shattered my blissful illusions. He who made me suffer so much…

I had another dream. A dream where Yuki was shouting at Aoi, who just smiled at him mockingly. The other girls and guys chatted amongst themselves while eating a watermelon. Mother and father where there too, even Akane was running around the place playing with his tail. I had a dream of all that I was and all that I am now. I had a dream only to wake up to a fantasy….

Tsuna stirred slightly, opening his eyes slowly. A soft smile appeared on the boys face as his eyes met the angular features of his Italian lover. The brunette snuggled closer to the man closing his eyes again and drifting off to an elated dream.

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**A/n**: aww man I made my self cry

*goes through a box of Kleenex* you'd cry to if you know the back story of my OC's (or maybe not) anyways I was thinking of Saito (RK) when I was writing this and one of my OC's from the same story as Yuki and Aoi and a crossbreed was born.

(1) written with the kanji of 'black' & 'god' and 'distant' &'soar'… or at least I hope I just stuck random kanji together *sighs*

Review and the sequel is on the way~


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